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I am So Lucky!!!

A silver lining is a funny thing. You wish you could see it while you are mucking your way through a crisis, but you can’t, and it often doesn’t show up for a long time, if at all. My silver lining appeared in the most unexpected of ways.

This HHT story seems like it should start with a list of really weird symptoms, a lifetime of strange unannounced nosebleeds or the funny red dots all over my lips which look like reverse freckles – but it starts somewhere entirely different.

At forty-six, the truly unimaginable became reality. I was diagnosed with Stage II Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, or simply known as breast cancer. Like any cancer diagnosis, this was terrifying news, but compared to other cancers, the survivability rate today if diagnosed early is excellent. I benefited greatly from the others who brought breast cancer into the forefront. I had the standard surgery, followed by chemotherapy, radiation and now I am on medication for five years – I am going to be ok. This was a very difficult time, but survivable, which is not the case for so many people. I lost my hair and my overall sense of security. I never believed that something terrible was going to happen to me and I wondered, what is the silver lining in this? What life lessons do I take from this? Is this the part of my story where I write off this experience to dumb luck, or am I thankful that I do not have a terminal cancer? Even a couple of years later, wading my way through survivor’s guilt, I still could not answer these questions.

After being cancer free for two years, I wasn’t feeling so great. My energy was low; I had a hard time doing things that normally came pretty easy to me: hiking, biking or walking up the big hill by my house. I just felt bad… was the cancer back? Could it be the twenty pounds I put on courtesy of cancer pharmacology? Obvious to my doctors, or so they thought, it was probably the far-reaching side effects from chemotherapy and radiation. What a bummer!

Here we go again! To be on the safe side, more tests were ordered! Let’s do a bone scan… Nope – it all looks good! Let’s check your blood for cancer markers…. Nope – it all looks good! Let’s send you to a cardiologist, it could be the chemotherapy you had…. Nope – heart is in terrific condition! Let’s send you to a pulmonologist, it could be damage to your right lung from radiation…. Hmmm…. yes, there is a little damage to your right lung, but more significantly, you have an AVM (arteriovenous malformation) in your left lung, and you need to get that treated immediately. This AVM made me a prime candidate for a stroke or brain abscess. My pulmonologist wanted to treat me at the local hospital to avoid a catastrophic event as soon as possible! This AVM would surely account for the oxygen-deprived blood leaving my lungs and sapping my body of energy.

HOLD ON was all I could think while on the phone with my doctor!

What on earth was going on here? None of this sounded right to me. What is an AVM and why is it in my lung? On the phone with the pulmonologist, I did what every person would do in this situation, consult my close friend Google. Google’s search revealed that AVMs are a tangled web of arteries and veins that are not properly connected with capillaries. This made no sense to me, I was baffled! It took a few more clicks Googling AVMs before I found a connection to HHT. The list of symptoms associated with AVMs and HHT looked familiar to me. A family history of nosebleeds, my own nosebleeds, skin telangiectasias (a word I will never be able to pronounce, but essentially tiny AVMs presenting as small red or purple dots). Yikes, it seemed I had every symptom. There it was – HHT, Hereditary Hemorrhagic Telangiectasia… now there is a mouthful! Most doctors know this from a test question in medical school as Osler-Weber-Rendu Syndrome. I started rattling off the information I was reading to the pulmonologist, and he started asking me questions. Do you have nosebleeds? Do you have telangiectasias? Do you have a family history of nosebleeds or unexplained deaths? Yes, to everything! The most important thing he said was “I can’t believe I missed this, but I’ve never had a patient with a lung AVM”. Turns out these lung AVMs (or PAVMs, for the pulmonary part) are very rare – less than one percent in the general population, however, they are a common occurrence in people with HHT.

Lucky Silver Lining #1 – The additional tests my doctors ran because they suspected a cancer related condition led to a new and rare diagnosis of HHT. Without this, I am just a middle age woman who needs to get in better shape! How many people can say that cancer saved their lives?

After being referred to UCLA’s HHT Center, I began my never-ending trek along the infamous traffic-clogged 405 freeway. I met amazing doctors who had not only heard of HHT, they were experts in the various ways it could impact one’s health. They were reassuring and knowledgeable. I would need some coils placed in my lungs to prevent a catastrophic event, and a MRI to rule out brain AVMs – no big deal. I was not worried about that, it seemed impossible that anything was amiss with my brain. At this point, I was aggravated by the dozens of physicians I had seen in my life that completely missed those pesky red freckles and coincidental nosebleeds – not so coincidental after all!

After a brain scan and a meeting with the HHT Director to schedule my lung procedure, my doctor informed me that the Co-Director of the UCLA HHT program would call me from his vacation to go over my brain scan. Don’t ask me why this didn’t freak me out, but at the time, I thought “Oh, how nice! Doctors that work on vacation.” That was a phone call I will never forget. With breast cancer, I was given a pink ticket and instructions to come back and bring someone with me. I found out the pink ticket was a special pass out of the waiting room to a cozy office where you were going to get some bad news.

This phone call from my vacationing doctor did not come with a pink ticket, or requirement that I “bring someone with me”. I was at work in a sterile conference room, with my future husband conferenced in from his job. The phone call started with pleasantries, followed by, “Well, we will have to talk about your four brain AVMs at some point, but right now I want to talk about your brain aneurysm.” “Excuse me, my what?” I almost couldn’t hear him. I had to stop him and ask what the hell we were talking about. I have brain AVMs AND an un-ruptured brain aneurysm? It did not seem possible because – my head felt fine! The good news was there was no evidence of hemorrhage (bleeding from all this unnecessary and unwanted junk in my brain). Still, I felt like the train was coming off the tracks and my life was crashing in.

Lucky Silver Lining #2 – I have a brain aneurysm, but it had not ruptured. I have lung AVMs and brain AVMs, but they were treatable. I like to say I had lung and brain surgeries, but they are only procedures. After the doctor placed coils in the lung AVM through a catheter from a vein in my groin, a month later they put me to sleep and navigated the arteries from my groin to brain, to drop off a little pipeline stent across the brain aneurysm. The lung procedure was a piece of cake, but the brain procedure was more challenging. It took me some time to recover from this, but honestly, I wasn’t afraid of the brain AVMs or my children’s fate quite yet! One day at a time was the best I could do. I just couldn’t think about anything else. I have not mentioned this yet, but HHT is inherited. You do not catch it, you are born with it.

Fast forward six months: I knew I had HHT type 1, located on chromosome nine (a great name for a band, “Chromosome Nine”). The gene mutation can be benign. For example, my 91-year-old father suffers from mild daily nosebleeds, and that is the extent of it for him. Looking back on my family history, I have reason to believe that I have lost more than one family member to HHT; however, I cannot be sure, as HHT was not diagnosed in my family at the time. I had three pregnancies where I had a bloody nose every single day of each pregnancy. I complained frequently to my OB/GYN about the nosebleeds, and in hindsight wish he had the knowledge to diagnose me then. Pregnancy can be dangerous for someone with HHT and lung AVMs. If you have a bloody nose everyday for 26 months (total pregnancy time), something could be wrong. It is staggering to me the number of doctors I have seen in twenty-five years that missed the clear markers of HHT. I want to go back to every doctor I have ever seen and tell them to ask more questions; it is lifesaving!

HHT is an autosomal dominant genetic disorder, which means there is a 50/50 chance of passing it on with each pregnancy. Based on my new knowledge of symptoms, I believed only my youngest would be affected. Once again came unexpected news – all three of the boys have HHT…as it turns out; my genes are as bossy as I am. The math was easy to figure out, 50/50 with each pregnancy; however, I still could hardly process this. My youngest at sixteen was a given – he has frequent bloody noses – but my middle son at 19 only had a couple of nosebleeds in his lifetime, and my oldest at 21 has never had a bloody nose and is a cross country athlete. On closer inspection from the professionals with a penlight, all three had tiny telangiectasias in their mouths.

Lucky Silver Lining #3 – My children know! They are less likely to have a catastrophic event from HHT, because they know. They will have their lungs scanned every two to five years for  PAVMs, which are present but very small in all three – they may grow over time and can be treated if they grow. All three are negative for brain AVMs. My boys will be able to screen my future grandchildren for treatment or choose genetic screening. No one else in my family needs to meet an untimely end due to HHT, because now we know!

Back to those four pesky brain AVMs. Two of them are “micro” and do not need treatment. The other two are a little more problematic. According to my doctor, if I live long enough, without treatment there is an 84% likelihood that one of the two AVMs in my brain will hemorrhage. I do not understand this probability math, although my doctor tried to explain it to me. One AVM is operable, but the other is not. In July, the doctors delivered a blast of radiation (radiosurgery) directly to those two AVMs. I was hesitant to do it, but I couldn’t ignore the advice of my doctor, whom I trust, and the evidence of success his team presented. Additionally, I have taken to presenting this question to all my doctors, which I suspect they usually don’t like, and don’t want to answer: what treatment would you recommend if the patient in this case were your wife, sister, mother? The answer was unequivocal, and unanimous: treat. Over the course of three years, in a best-case scenario, the radiation blast will cause the CAVMs (“C” for cerebral vs “P” for pulmonary) to shrink down, giving me the rest of my life without having to worry about a brain hemorrhage. Until then I wait, which is something I have never been good about – so I practice patience. There is data that HHT brain AVMs are less likely to hemorrhage, so that gives me some peace.

Lucky Silver Lining #4 – I am really fired up! This entire experience got me thinking – how can I get involved, how can I make a difference? I survived breast cancer thanks to treatments developed as a result of heightened awareness and activism, and the funding and research that accompany awareness. This awareness does not exist on that scale for HHT because of its rarity.

One in 5,000 people in the general population has HHT and ninety percent affected are undiagnosed. This fact alone motivates me to be a voice and bring awareness to HHT so the undiagnosed can get treated.

Obviously, curing and treating HHT is a worthwhile pursuit. More immediately, we can diagnose that ninety percent who don’t know they have HHT, before they suffer life-threating complications, or unknowingly pass it on. My father did not know his lifetime of bloody noses could be deadly for his children and grandchildren. What about the rest of the families out there like us that have no idea?

Lucky Silver Lining #5 – I am so lucky I am alive! Having the benefit of being treated, my goal is to help others. To the extent I can be a voice and or provide guidance. It all makes sense now and I am excited and hopeful!

The best way to get people diagnosed is to have educated doctors. The most noteworthy doctors to miss the HHT diagnosis are dermatologists, OB/GYN’s, ENTs, dentists and general practitioners. Nevertheless, it is equally important to have educated patients. If you have telangiectasias, ask among your family about anyone else with bloody noses. If you have a reoccurring bloody nose, look for the telangiectasias on the lips, in the mouth and on the fingertips. If these exist, ask about family history. Why does something so simple seem herculean? I don’t have the answers yet, but I know there is a large HHT community to which I already belong, and many others can and will benefit from our combined efforts to raise awareness.


MaryAnn Donnelly
Redondo Beach, California


Supervising Physician
Justin McWilliams, MD
UCLA HHT Co-Director


  1. Anna Mae Mincer on January 3, 2018 at 3:29 pm

    What a STRONG LADY YOU ARE with such a heart and will for awareness…I was sad and hurt for you and know that God has brought you to this for a reason!! Many blessings to you and your children and prayers for a long life with you their beautiful MOM❤

  2. Jill Shields LeRoy on January 3, 2018 at 10:15 pm

    I hear your voice in your written word! I am thankful that you are stubborn enough to always challenge and ask questions that ultimately led you to this truth. Knowledge is power, and with this power you can fight, push on, educate and raise awareness. Your boys are very lucky to have a mom like you and they now have the information they need to continue to have happy healthy lives. I’m proud of you for so many reasons, but for you to open up your private life in order to help others, this my friend, is amazingly brave and selfless. I’m certain your words will help someone with HHT to find their own truth and the support they will need to manage their health and govern their futures. XO

  3. Paul Headley on January 5, 2018 at 7:50 pm

    Incredible message to share. I pray others will read and take your advice. Knowledge is the key. You mentioned your dad having it. Your mom passed on to you too be a fighter and never back down. She was a strong determined woman with incredible qualities. I see all that on you. I have always been proud of you and continue to be so. You and the boys are in my prayers. Love T

  4. Channon MacEachern on January 6, 2018 at 9:13 am

    Thank you for posting your story MaryAnn! Before you I had never heard of HHT. Thank you for raising awareness of this disease and good luck on your efforts to treat and find a cure for HHT. I am blessed to know you and your amazing boys and truly believe the world will be a better place with you and your boys and any future children living a long and healthy life, symptom free or HHT cured.

  5. Cassi on January 7, 2018 at 10:59 am

    Great post, MaryAnn! I am so glad you have such a positive approach to your experience – it will greatly benefit your sons and their future children! Absolutely, education and awareness are crucial! <3

  6. Bill Utech on January 8, 2018 at 11:59 am

    MaryAnn what a story, and so glad that you were able to find out long before a tragic even happened.

    We just found out the end of Oct. 2017 about HHT is my wife’s family. HHT tragically took my M-I-L’s life. My wife is currently going through testing (chest CT and Brain MRI in a week) and her brother is undergoing testing today. She has and Aunt and Uncle that are both positive, along with her Uncle’s sons and grandson, who had surgery 3 weeks after mom passed because his mom was insistent that his “asthma” was not what it was. Turns out this 8 yr old had several PAVM’s that were all closed after a succesfull 8 hr surgery.

    The kicker in this family is that all genetic testing comes back negative. But now we know, and we know what to look for. I’m so glad that through Cure HHT and the Center’s we can manage and help to educate others.

  7. Sharan Waler on May 17, 2018 at 12:32 pm

    This site is absolutely fabulous!

  8. Renato Piller on May 18, 2018 at 3:35 am

    Keep up the great work guyz.

  9. Jenna RN on December 11, 2018 at 3:43 pm

    Wow. I had the pleasure of meeting this absolutely heroic woman. What a positive force to be in the company of. I have always believed in the power of positivity and boy does MaryAnn have it. As a traveling nurse I struggle from being away from my Mother and I believe god put MaryAnn and I in the same room because he knew I needed her light. She was so kind, motivational and uplifting she gave me the sense that my own mother was here in California with me. Reading her testimony is just a glimpse of her strength and perseverance. What a truly incredible and strong woman. I wish you all the wellness, happiness and love in the world MaryAnn you deserve it. Never give up hope.

  10. Luci Janssen on May 3, 2019 at 7:52 pm

    Bless you. I have HHT, too. So far, through my insistence, two of my three adult sons have been tested for HHT and do not have the gene. Blessings 1 and 2 and 3 through 10 of my grandchildren will not have it and that is a huge relief off my mind. Hoping the 3rd son gets tested and we can have 3 out of 3 without HHT…and then we would know if the other 2 grandsons are good.
    Like you, I had breast cancer, but also a nephrectomy due to renal cell carcinoma so I fully empathize with your challenges. As my thank you, I donated to UCLA Kidney cancer research, HHT epitasis research, and to Cedar’s Sinai Brandman Breast Center and give blood yearly to the Gilda Radner Hereditary Cancer Study. There are so many pro-active things we can participate in to advance the study for solutions to eradicate cancer and HHT or alleviate symptoms. Donating a few vials of blood to the Cancer Study costs me nothing but I feel in some way, I may help someone’s life in the future should solutions evolve due to research using my blood. Thank you for your lovely posting and you are such a role model for all of us and your positive outlook. I know what a bumpy road it can be and watched my own father suffer with horrendous nose bleeds due to HHT that filled our bathroom sink. I don’t have nearly the nosebleeds he endured but may have had an internal AVM that ended me up in ICU. I wish all who are out there to get informed if you suspect HHT and go to an HHt Center nearest you for evaluation.

    • Phillip on July 23, 2019 at 10:30 pm

      I was diagnosed with hht when I went to hospital because it was hard to breath and I was to weak to even shower or eat ENT doctor said no cure for me I’ve received blood transfusions 5 times the hospitals just get my hemoglobin above 7 then kick me out my nose bleeds off and on all day everyday even while I sleep any recommendations you have to help me is much appreciated hard to work weak all the time and who wants someone pouring blood out their face all the time working next to them

      • Laura on September 2, 2019 at 3:02 am

        Your diet and medications can impact bleeding in HHT peeps… Best advice is to get yourself to an HHT clinic, as well as, to start educating yourself… For instance, anemia may be your ever present challenge… and while iron supplements are indicated, sometimes the form of the supplement makes the difference between successful anemia treatment or surprisingly, the worsening of bleeds… Become proactive about your health, my Friend….

  11. Jodi Burke on October 24, 2019 at 9:30 pm

    Thank you! You are beautiful! You are wondrous! You are spirited! And you are gift! I am so grateful to have reconnected with you!! And I am SOOOO GRATEFUL you are not only alive, but alive with such motivating energy that you inspire me MaryAnn Donelly! I will be passing this information along to further the awareness. My RN daughter will be reading the Silver Lining and spreading the word. We can’t change anything we aren’t aware of, and now we are aware! I love you my forever friend! My prayers are with you and your precious family! Thank you for sharing your life story with me and with others! Namaste

  12. Michell Magerko on November 21, 2021 at 2:05 pm

    Hi MaryAnn, I also have HHT. Your story has given me hope, when that is in short supply right now. I had surgery (coblation) to help control my severe nosebleeds in January 2021 with Avastin injections. It really helped lessen the severity of my nosebleeds; but now I’m having trouble with bleeding again. I’ve had the nosebleeds since I was 28 and my mother had them as well. My mom passed away from complications from HHT 10 years ago. Looks like I’m following her HHT path, unfortunately. It’s like you fix one leak and then another one starts. Then you fix that one and then another one starts again. With this disease you have to be prepared to get knocked down a lot and continue to rise back up and fight again. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story. It has helped me to renew my strength to continue to fight this disease when I was feeling defeated by it. I hope you are and your family are doing well.

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